Silver & Cold
by Lilja Rainheart
Summary: Sirius and Remus come to terms with their feelings for each other. Just fluff basically, only adding a bit of bittersweetness by the song lyrics. Rated M just to be safe, it's not that explicit. SBRL slash.


Genre: song fiction, romance

Rating: M

Disclaimer: It all belongs to JKR, I own nothing and no one. The lyrics are from AFI's Silver And Cold.

A/N: My first fic with them. I think I don't know the characters well enough… so I had some problems writing them. I hope it turned out okay, though. Story takes place during their fifth year at Hogwarts :)

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**Silver & Cold.**

_I came here by day,_  
_but I left here in darkness_  
_and found you, found you on the way._

"Sirius, stop it!", Remus finally managed to say, "We shouldn't be doing this."

"Shouldn't be doing what?" Sirius grinned and seemed rather unimpressed by his friend's doubts. "Do… this?", he asked and moved forward to kiss Remus again, grinding his hips against the other boy's in the process.

Remus' earlier complaint was lost in a quiet moan. "Really… I mean it… we have to stop…" He tried his best to resist Sirius' advances.

Sirius chuckled. "Why stop when you obviously like it that much?", he quipped, raising an eyebrow.

Remus sighed. "You're an arrogant prat sometimes, Padfoot", he said, "And the worst thing about it is that you know I like it." He smiled at the dark-haired boy, knowing there was no way he could ever resist him. No matter how much he wanted to.

"Just what I wanted to hear." Sirius returned the smile and up they were for another round of extensive snogging.

This thing between them had been going on for months, unnoticed by any of their friends. Their feelings for each other had come out of nowhere, or so it seemed. Both of them had been, still were, confused and scared.

After a kiss shared in the darkness on a nightly walk through the Hogwarts grounds, they had tried to forget about it. Blaming it on the hormones, maybe. They were only 15 year old boys, after all. With raging hormones and all. But denying wasn't possible anymore when it happened again… and again…

Stolen kisses in the dead of night, make out sessions in broom closets or even in their dormitory when everyone else was fast asleep.

They didn't know what to make of it, of their attraction towards each other. They knew it was weird and not normal… Hell, they were Marauders and didn't care about rules in general, but this was something else.

They were doing things that most people wouldn't be happy to know about… even their friends, maybe. It scared them both. Sirius acted like he didn't care, but Remus knew he did. Knew that he was worrying about the same things he was thinking about. And yet everytime he wanted to talk, Sirius just silenced him by kisssing him and doing those wonderful things to him. It was an effective way to shut him up…

_Now, it is silver and silent._  
_It is silver and cold._  
_You in somber resplendence,_  
_I hold..._

Somewhere a clock struck, it was 3 o'clock in the morning. They should have been sleeping and yet they were wide awake. They should also be in their own beds, but both boys were in Remus' bed, lying in each other's arms. Tired, worn out, but still not able to sleep.

"Sirius?", Remus quietly said, "We need to talk about this… us, I mean… I'm thinking about it all the time and I know you are, too." He hoped, Sirius wouldn't make up an excuse of being too tired to talk or something along those lines. He already thought exactly that would happen when he felt Sirius stiffen in his arms for a tiny moment.

"Damn you for knowing me too well", Sirius sighed and turned around so he was facing Remus. Grey eyes locked with hazel ones. "What do you expect me to say? Do you think I have any explanations? I would share them with you if I had them", Sirius quietly explained.

"Do you love me?", Remus suddenly asked, avoiding Sirius' gaze.

"What?" Sirius certainly hadn't expected that to come. In fact he had never really thought about it. He cared about the other boy, he was certain about that. But love? What was love, anyway? What was the definition of it? How did you feel if you loved someone? If it was that fuzzy warm feeling he got in his stomach whenever he kissed Remus…

"It's an easy enough question", Remus continued, not having noticed that Sirius' thoughts had gotten a bit sidetracked, "Because I think I do… love you…" By the end of the sentence, his voice had gotten lower, almost whispering the last bit.

Sirius looked at his friend. He didn't quite know what to say. He was speechless. Which was actually a very rare thing to happen. But there was that feeling again…

Remus misunderstood the silence, though. "I'm sorry…", he sighed, "I shouldn't have said that. It's just… I want to understand why we do this… why I feel this way… and this was the only conclusion I could draw. I should have known you don't feel this way. Who could love _me_, anyway…"

Sirius simply shook his head. "Silly, silly Moony…" he said. He inched closer towards Remus, bringing his hand up to cup his face. "Of course I love you. I've just never thought about _this_ kind of love before… but it makes sense, to be honest. Once again, you're the bright one while I still have no idea." He laughed quietly and leaned in to kiss the other boy.

"So it's as easy as that?", Remus asked a little while later.

"I wouldn't call it easy…", Sirius replied.

_Light, like the flutter of wings,_  
_feel your hollow voice rushing_  
_into me as you're longing to sing._  
_So I, I will paint you in silver._  
_I will wrap you in cold._  
_I will lift up your voice as I sink._

Although they had sorted out their feelings now, things still were weird. They didn't know how to act. They sort of were a couple now… but nobody should know, at least not now. They had agreed on that. It would just make things even more complicated than they already were.

Especially Remus still wasn't sure whether it was okay. His doubts lay less in the fact that being gay might cause them trouble. Remus was scared about his werewolf persona… the people closest to him were the ones most likely to get into danger. Sirius had always been close to him, but this was a whole new situation. And now that his friends had managed to become Animagi… something might go wrong, you never knew.

Sirius wouldn't have any of this though. He just thought Remus was thinking too much, like he always did.

_Your sins into me,_  
_oh, my beautiful one._  
_Your sins into me._  
_As a rapturous voice escapes_  
_I will tremble a prayer_  
_and I'll beg for forgiveness._  
_Your sins into me,_  
_Your sins into me._

"Stop worrying so much", Sirius told Remus one night as they lay together in Remus' bed once again.

They always waited until the others were asleep and then one of them would quietly slip into the other one's bed where he would stay until the morning and only return to his own bed shortly before it was time to get up.

"You know that's what I do…", Remus huffed, "And you can't deny that I have a point!"

"But I just don't care." Sirius grinned and straddled Remus' hips, bending down to kiss him. "I just want to be with you and nothing will stop me", he whispered against Remus' lips, making him shudder involuntarily.

Remus brought his hand up to Sirius' neck and pulled him in for a searing kiss. Sometimes he wondered if Sirius did all of that on purpose… saying those things, making him crazy.

As the kiss grew more and more passionate, Sirius finally sneaked a hand in between their heated bodies, finding his way under Remus' pants.

Remus gasped. "Are you crazy? We'll wake the others!", he said and tried to pull Sirius' hand away.

Sirius chuckled quietly. "Lend me your wand for a second."

Remus raised an eyebrow but still grabbed his wand from the bedside table and handed it to Sirius who quickly closed all the curtains around them and cast a silencing charm over the bed.

"Won't wake anybody now." He smirked and Remus couldn't help but laugh. "Why didn't I think of that?", he asked.

"Because sometimes even you can't think of everything, love", Sirius replied, "And now how about you let me continue what I just started?"

"Brilliant idea…", Remus said while Sirius had already moved on and was now sucking at the sensitive skin on his neck.

"Don't you dare give me a hickey."

"I won't", Sirius laughed quietly against Remus' skin.

What came next was a frenzy of heated kisses and clothes that had to be shed until it was only skin on skin. Their hands stroking each other, lips tasting each other, each of them caught up in their own and the other one's pleasure.

It didn't take too long for them to reach their orgasms, they were only teenagers, after all. They only hoped the charms around them hadn't failed, because they sure hadn't been quiet.

They finally fell asleep in each other's arms, holding each other and feeling content and sleepy.

The world might give them trouble, but right now, they didn't care one bit about it. They were only two boys in love.

**THE END**


End file.
